You were born enough.

A lot of gurus and self-help books tell you, that you have to live with self-worth. That you have to see your own value. I myself could not relate to that. Self-worth, Self-Value. I couldn’t put that into a box that fit, I couldn’t wrap my mind around that thought, around that idea. But today, I was listening to the Detail Therapy Podcast by Amy Landino. Episode 3 where she talks with Mathew Santoro. And Mathew said, “you were born enough.” And this, hit me, like a slap in the face. My mind is always telling me, you are not enough, you don’t do enough, you aren’t helping as much as you can, you aren’t doing enough to this or to that. But once he said “you were born enough.” The voices, the feelings paused for a few moments, and the puzzle piece clicked into place. I was born enough, what I can do is enough and if anyone else cannot see that then they are either expecting too much, or simply not appreciating what I have to give. And that is not my problem. I feel that my generation was raised with the, “what will the neighbors say” mentality. I do remember feeling this, I don’t think I ever heard my mother say it directly but it was something that was on my mind often as a child. Possibly I heard it from one of the many shows that I watched. It was always there, in the background. “What would the neighbors say?” “What would the neighbors think if they saw you like that?” What the neighbors think, isn’t my problem. What the neighbors say is out of my control. What the neighbors feel is not what I feel and I should not try to make it so. I was born enough, I was born with what I am able to give and I should be fully appreciated for that. Right now I am not wearing my work shirt, because I splashed water on my undershirt as I as cleaning the 3rd floor which had been left with many dirty dishes, a dirty sink and food left out to rot. I didn’t have to do this; this is not my job. I choose to do this and I don’t care if they don’t think it’s enough, that I didn’t sweep therefor I did nothing, that I didn’t put everything in its proper place therefor it was done wrong. I did enough. I did what I could, I did what no one else did and I’m not the only one that went up there. I choose to clean and I didn’t have to. I did enough. My dear Negative Nancy’s I tell you this tail because I know many of you are going through the same thing, feeling as though you are not enough because people around you are saying that you don’t do enough, that what you are doing isn’t what they want you to do. That no matter how much extra, or how much you put in, it isn’t enough. Well I am here to tell you, you are enough. You do more than enough. What you do extra, becomes their new standard, they will never be happy. And it’s not your job to make them happy. You are enough and if they cannot appreciate the extra that you are doing then they are not worth your time, and not worth you. This blog post was created from a place of emotion. I am angry right now, because I know what they will say and knowing just makes it worse. But at least now, I know in my heart, that I did enough. I don’t need to do more. That is not my job, it is not in my contract to clean a room after we have a party. I left to do my job and I came back and cleaned because I WANTED to, not because I had to. And that IS ENOUGH.